This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
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3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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