Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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