Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
