We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm at about main and main street
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
