you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
