She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
