my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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