The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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