The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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