To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
