these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
