Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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