I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
