you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize