How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Dicks are not precious.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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