On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
