So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
