omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
