Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
