Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize