Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
