Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
