i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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