I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm like, not good at living.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
