i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
