I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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