I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
