i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
