Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
