I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
