I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
