Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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