Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
