I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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