Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
