I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
