Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize