ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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