What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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