No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
