Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
