saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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