true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
