You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
