ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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