my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
