"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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