He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize