Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
