'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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