Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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