it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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