you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
