Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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