By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i've created a new STD.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My Sexting was not on an AP level