toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
