i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
